The Temptations of Christ: Self-Gratification (Turning Stones into Bread)

 St. Paul warns us to "not be ignorant of the devils' devices, lest he gain an advantage over us." ( 2 Corinthians 2:11)

Successful generals study their enemy's tactics. The Bible gives us a clear picture of satan's strategy throughout human history.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world -- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life -- is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever" (1 John 2:15-17)

From the above passage, we see that people of the world and their systems are held sway by three dynamics:

Lust of the Flesh

Lust of the Eyes

Pride of Life

These forces are governed by satan, meaning he is the prevailing influence in the philosophies, opinions, and views of the unbelieving world, which affect the educational, commercial, political, and religious systems of nations.

"...In whom the god of THIS world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them." (2 Corinthians 4:4)

Note the use of the word "this" not "the"...signifying that satan does not have absolute authority in the earth, but operates deceptively with limited power primarily over those who do not believe, and only in this current age.

When satan rebelled against God in Heaven, he was full of pride; he coveted God's Throne (which he covered continually with his wings) and desired to possess its power at any cost.

His rebellion was characterized by a) lust of the flesh, b) lust of the eyes, c) pride of life.

He and his angelic followers were cast to earth, doomed to wander their "penal colony" while they watched mankind, created in God's image and likeness, spread the Father's glory over all the earth. It was to be eternally tormenting!

Satan soon realized that if he could find a legal way to gain the mandate of earthly authority granted to Adam, he could reanimate into the physical world and work to steal, kill, and destroy God's beloved humanity.

Could he tempt man to also rebel and be kicked out of Paradise? Could he persuade man to follow his lead and forfeit his estate?

We all know the story as recorded in the third chapter of Genesis. Let's pick up where Eve succumbs to the same three dynamics in verse 6:

1. She "saw" the tree was good for food (flesh)

2. It was pleasant to look at (eyes)

3. She desired it in order to become wise (pride of life)

All temptations--then and now--land in one of these three areas.

Although Christians are not of the world, we are nevertheless in it; and when our hedges are down, we become the devil's prey, as well.

What do I mean by "downed hedges"?

"Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death." (James 1:13-15)

When we are tempted, we can't blame God. He doesn't have anything to do with it! Even satan has to seek an opportunity to tempt; he cannot indiscriminately pick a victim:

"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world." (1 Peter 5:8-9)

Unbelievers do not live within secure spiritual parameters; Christians do. Nevertheless, we can find ourselves compromised due to careless neglect. 

Conversely, as James tells us, we may linger and listen to voices outside the hedge that speak to the needy areas of our heart, drawing us away from our safe place. Ultimately, we step out to embrace the tempter.

We are blinded under temptation, unable to see a vicious predator--only beauty, desire, and personal fulfillment. In other words: lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh, and the pride of life.

James tell us to resist temptation "stedfast IN the faith"...not with the faith. This is important, saint.

Remember, you are IN Christ, and He is your faith--not a set of rules and regulations. The only place you can win is in Christ!

"In Christ" is where you positionally, legally reside at all times, but you have to make that truth a daily reality here on earth--in your mind, in your sexuality, at your job, in your choice of friends and entertainment.

Why is this important?

God, the Son assumed human flesh in order to undo man's disobedience by becoming what Adam was not--a trustworthy representative of God to all creation. The Incarnation was a radically brilliant plan that would not compromise the integrity of a just God nor deny mercy to the fallen.

After Jesus' baptism, the Holy Spirit led Him into the desert to face the three temptations that Adam and Eve failed. Satan used his standard M.O. to try to disqualify this new representative--the SAME methods he uses against you and me as God's representatives in the earth today.

Although Jesus was God in the flesh, the temptations He faced were very real.  His divinity was willingly submitted to serve the Father's purpose, thereby manifesting only by permission as it fit into redemption's plan, such as with healings and miracles. (Jesus explained, "I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does." John 5:19)

The temptations were aimed at  pressing Him to question His Heavenly Father's  intents and goodness  while in His human condition, thereby compelling Him to step outside of God's provisions and into self-attainment.

However, it was not the humanity of Jesus that answered those temptations, but God within. As a result, He passed the test.

With his sinless life and sacrificial death, He ransomed us from the curse of rebellion, paid its penalty in our place, and credited that obedient life to our account. Our statement is stamped "Paid in Full"!

That's what being IN CHRIST means. In the Kingdom, we reside IN His righteousness, His perfection before the Father, His faithfulness to God. We trust what He has done for us, not what we do for Him (which can never measure up to His holiness).

However, in the material world that has yet to see the full manifestation of Christ's Kingdom, we are the visible representatives of that which is to come and its Sovereign.

"The mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints.  To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory." (Colossians 1:26-27)    

Therefore, as refractions of the life and ministry of our Lord, we face our temptations in the same way. The battles are very real, but Christ within makes the final decision!

The minute we 'step outside' of that protective place by doubting God's ways of relating to us and caring for our needs, we choose to take matters into our own hands; we want to determine what's good and evil...we want to control the how's and when's of getting what we want. We take the bait again--just like Adam and Eve--and open ourselves up to unnecessary trouble and consequences.

Let's look at how the Bible records the temptations of Jesus:

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”

But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God'."

Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you,’ and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone'."

Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the LORD your God'."

Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve'." Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.

From that time Jesus began to preach and to say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 4:1-11; 17)

Notice that none of the things used to tempt Jesus were in themselves illegitimate.

God created us to enjoy food, but Jesus was in a God-inspired fast that required a season of self-denial. God didn't want to withhold sustenance from His Son, but it was not yet time for Him to eat again.

God was going to raise His Son from the dead in spite of fatal wounds, but it was not time. The Cross was God's way. Jesus would validate His claims to the world by saving others. He was not in the world to please or prove Himself.

Jesus was going to win back what Adam forfeited to the devil, but not by bowing to the enemy. He was going to die instead, rise from the dead, then triumphantly, openly strip satan of the keys to death and the grave!

He stuck to the Father's plan, although the end result took longer and was certainly not as easy.

Jesus understood the WILL (or plans) of God for His life. He was not in His season of Kingship. He was to first come as the suffering servant, the sacrificial Lamb.

Jesus relied on the Holy-Spirit inspired WORD of God to keep Him in God's Will (see His response to the devil's temptations).

Jesus accepted the WAY of God as to how the Father's plan of redemption was to unfold and be fulfilled--the how's and when's.

What season are you in as it relates to God's will for your life?

Jesus is the Living Word. We are hidden in Him (Colossians 3:3). He is our armor (Ephesians 6). Abiding in Him enables us to resist the enemy and bear the fruit of obedience to the Father's plan.

We surrender to the way the Father has chosen--the how's and when's. Many frustrated Christians are trying to follow the right plan, but in the wrong way or time. Some have rejected their calling altogether, thinking they missed God.

God has promised to meet our temporal needs as El Shaddai, the God who is "more than enough". He has promised to vindicate every wrong and be our defense against accusations and insults. We need not take matters into our own hands to prove anything.

Our loving Father has promised that we have been "given all things that pertain to life and godliness" in Christ (2 Peter 2:1-4) and that indeed, we are joint-heirs with Christ (Romans 8:17).

We already sit in Heavenly places in Christ Jesus, "far above all principality, and power, and might, and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that which is to come."

If all things are under His feet, then they are under ours as well. He is our head, we are His body--the FULLNESS of Him that filleth all in all." (Ephesians 1:21, 23; 2:6)

Beloved, being in Christ means we not only have unrestricted access to His divine blessings, but we assent to obtaining them in the same manner as our Lord--surrendered to the Will, Word, and Way of God at all times.

This may appear impossible until we remember that we are In Christ--abiding in and expressing outwardly the life and power of One who already surrendered on our behalf and won the victory!

"For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin." (Hebrews 4:15)

Now, we'll look further at the first temptation of Jesus to turn stones into bread. It falls into the category of "lust of the flesh", or what I define as self-gratification.

God created us with a genuine hunger mechanism--a signal that our bodies are 'running on empty'. But our heart (the seat of our emotions) also releases uncomfortable feelings when it is approaching "E".

God created us with the capacity to give and receive affirmation, attention, and affection. Emotionally healthy people have mostly full tanks, and do not rely on constant input from others to keep them running.

Affirmation says: You're valuable to me.

Attention says: You're worth my time.

Affection says:  You're desirable; I want to be near you; I am not repulsed by your flaws.

Don't get me wrong; it's nice to receive these blessings from other people. We can all benefit from "topping off our tanks", but do you get what I'm saying?

Only God can heal and satisfy the heart's complex hunger for affirmation, attention, and affection. If it's not met in Him first, our hunger will drive us to look for fulfillment in ungodly people and places.

Pause for a moment and reflect once again on what affirmation, attention, and affection means. Do you have the kind of relationship with Jesus Christ that makes it easy for you to hear and believe these words when spoken by Him? If not, to whom are you looking for validation?

Deficient hearts are desperate. They want to end the discomfort NOW! They can't stand being told "no" or "not yet"; they take it as a personal insult or attack that screams, "You're not worthy to be gratified."

This vain imagination leads them to desperate choices in their relationships, finances, business, and ministry--often leading to sinful ways to try to escape the compounding consequences. Notice in the temptation passage that satan prods, "COMMAND that these stones become bread!"

Indeed, needy people are quite demanding, and insist on getting their way every time...regardless of whom it affects:

Achan in Battle (Joshua 11): He took material blessings out of the timing of God.

What do we do when God says, "Not yet"? Do we go ahead and buy on credit and extend our debt?

King David with Bathsheba (2 Samuel, chapter 11): He had sex with another man's wife after seeing her bathe, and the cover-up led to greater wickedness. Though he had many wives, David lusted after a particular woman and would not rest until he had her.

How do we react when God says, "No!" Do we nevertheless keep flirting with what is forbidden until we reach a point of no return? Do we heap more sin unto our account by the way we try to erase our footprints or escape a consequence?

King Solomon, who was willing to compromise his faith to please his foreign wives and concubines: (1 Kings 11)

Although God's Word is clear, do we deceive ourselves into thinking that our anointed gifts, talents, position or wealth makes exceptions for us?

Judas and his thirty pieces of silver: (Matthew 26: 14-16)

What is your price? Can your confession for Christ be exchanged for money, fame, a  certain person's favor or a position of power? 

St. Paul observed:

"...for I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.

  
I know how to be abased and live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance.

I have learned in any and all circumstances the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want.

   
I have strength for all things IN CHRIST Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency]."  Philippians 4:11-13 (Amplified Bible)

Contentment is not automatic. All of us must learn that only living spiritually IN CHRIST will we be able to, in turn, live in the natural world under any circumstances--with plenty or little, appreciated or not, loved or alone.

Focusing on Christ and His sufficiency prevents us from embracing a lying vanity that causes us to doubt God's goodness and care for us in the seasons of "No" or "Not Yet". It prevents us from stepping outside of Him to meet either a legitimate or a perceived need.

Up Next: Self-Empowerment

Stagger Not

^“He (Abraham) staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; And being fully persuaded that, what he had promised, he was able also to perform.” (Romans 4: 20, 21)

The Lord has spoken to my heart that I am in a time of “staggering not; and a time of full persuasion”. I am to focus on these two areas now. The latest scan from November showed that the cancer is still in my body, but not as pronounced as it was in September’s image.

The peritoneum (from the Greek peri-around + tonos-stretching) is a thin membrane that forms the lining of the abdomen. It covers all of the organs within the abdomen and also acts a conduit for blood, lymphatic vessels and nerves.This lining produces a lubricating fluid so the abdominal organs can slide around easily and prevent them from sticking together.

I’ve been told the cancer that spread from my colon to my peritoneum is hard to locate on scans. Cells from my peritoneum actually float in my abdominal cavity, thereby moving from one location to another. The good news from this report, however, is that these cells have not found a resting place on any other organ, nor are they in my bloodstream or bones. No excess fluid was found in the abdomen, which is a barometer for how well the chemo is working.

As many of you know, I am podcasting a series called “Healing for Everyday”—thirty one episodes featuring the healing Scriptures God has given me since my diagnosis. One of those is Matthew 15: 13:

“But He (Jesus) answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.”

Jesus is addressing the man-made traditions of the Jews, but the one revelation of Scripture can have many applications. In my case, God gave me this passage to address something just as dangerous as the letter of the law that kills: cancer.

When I wield this Scripture in warfare, I “tell” the cancer that it cannot stay in my body because God did not put it there. In addition, I say that as it leaves the peritoneum and abdomen, it will not find any other resting or nesting (hiding) place in my body.

In its uprooting, I also declare that it is not just dead by the fruit, but also by the root. In other words, it’s not just a season of non-bearing—in which case it will return—but it is dead at the roots.

Jesus spoke the same thing to the fig tree in Mark 11: 12-14; 19-24:

“And on the morrow, when they were come from Bethany, he was hungry: And seeing a fig tree afar off having leaves, he came, if haply he might find anything thereon: and when he came to it, he found nothing but leaves; for the time of figs was not yet.

“And Jesus answered and said unto it, No man eat fruit of thee hereafter for ever. And his disciples heard it. “And when even was come, he went out of the city. And in the morning, as they passed by, they saw the fig tree dried up from the roots. And Peter calling to remembrance saith unto him, Master, behold, the fig tree which thou cursedst is withered away. And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.

^“For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith^. Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.”

Of course, this is in direct contradiction to what my oncologist in Abilene believes. At least his approach is not like the Doctor of Death in Dallas who curtly told me in July I had six months to live.

Despite my high regard for my doctor, who is compassionate and highly skilled, his words are not the final authority in my life—God is. He alone determines the number and quality of my days as I live in concert with his Word and purpose for my life.

Dr. Kalla says my condition is incurable, and the best he can do is chase the cancer with chemotherapy. His best arsenal can only cripple it so that I can have months (perhaps years) free from the debilitating effects of the drugs before the cancer cells recover and began to multiply again.

How many rounds of chemotherapy I can take will depend on how well my body can hold up under the infusions. At some point, he warns, my body will no longer be able to withstand the drugs and I will enter palliative care.

I reminded him how he once said I was an extraordinary patient—one for the medical journals—because my case never seemed to follow the standard rules for how cancer acts and patients respond.

For instance, my blood work remains solid. He told me the numbers are in range for someone who has NEVER gone through chemotherapy. Thank God!

I believe it’s because I wield two Scriptures as a sword in regards to my blood work. These passages declare that God is upholding my bone marrow and its function:

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

“Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.” (Proverbs 3:5-8)

“…He (Jesus) is upholding all things by the word of his power…” (Hebrews 1:3)

Notice that all things are not being upheld by the power of His word, but the WORD of his power. It is as when God said, “Light, be!” It came forth and is continuing-- expanding throughout the cosmos--because the Lord hasn’t told it to stop.

Thus, I informed my oncologist that I wasn’t through breaking the medical profession’s rules. I had a few more planned to surprise them all!

So now, I must focus on staggering not and being fully persuaded, as the Lord instructed. He knows, based on this latest report that says the cancer is still there, that the enemy will try to get me to waver.

In fact, that’s exactly what the word “stagger” means in the Greek: waver. James 1:5-7 reveals the consequences of repeated wavering:

^“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

^“But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.”

The wisdom being sought in these passages refers to seeking instructions from God as what to do in the midst of an affliction or trial.

Ralph Martin, noted author and an associate professor of theology at Sacred Heart Seminary in Detroit, Michigan, comments:

“If any of you lacks wisdom - The wisdom in context is specifically regarding what God is accomplishing through the trial(s). James is making the point that we don't have to be perplexed by the trial and try to face it with our own natural, fallible wisdom.

"Instead, James says that if we find ourselves in a trial and lack spiritual insight, our "reflex" should be to go to our Father and ask Him for His wisdom, which is the practical application of His Word to everyday situations.” (Martin, R. P. Vol. 48: Word Biblical Commentary: James. Dallas: Word, Incorporated)

As a result, the wisdom I pursued has cautioned me--at this given point in my recovery--to stagger not and make sure I am fully persuaded.

Right after receiving this insight, I awoke this past Monday morning unable to walk without staggering.  My legs were weak and my gate unsteady throughout the day. Once again, satan had simply confirmed that I heard from God correctly. I did not own his attack as truth, but stood against his wiles with my shield of faith that quenches every fiery dart (Ephesians 6:10-18). Today as I write this update, my legs are once again strong.

Dr. Kalla's plan is to give me my tenth infusion on Tuesday, Dec. 10; then, perhaps one more around January 3. After that, George and I are hoping to get to Hawaii to visit the grandchildren later in the month. My husband can only stay two weeks because of work, but my intentions are to stay for several more weeks before I have to return home in March for a follow-up scan.

These dates are fluid, however, due to my son’s schedule. In the Army, they often have field maneuvers that keep them away from home for weeks; and as we’ve learned, the military can schedule these without warning.

Nevertheless, we will get there at some point. And while there, I refuse to look over my shoulder for another attack. (When I completed my first round of twelve infusions, the cancer began to multiply again and returned in less than sixty days.)

That was then; this is now. God says my prayers are effectual and fervent, and that I will have those things I declare…things not presumptuously claimed, but those precious things purchased for me by the Blood of Christ and approved by God for me to call forth at this time.

How do I know this to be true?

1 John 5:14,15:

“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.”

God’s Will is very clear regarding healing for His children. Even our bodies were created with a built-in healing mechanism—the immune system. Nonetheless, living under the effects of the Fall has weakened and compromised its ability to function optimally. But we are not left without help!

God heals our bodies in three ways:

spontaneously (through a working immune system)

by stimulation (diet and lifestyle changes, along with natural supplements or medicines that repair and recharge the immune system, restoring the body to working order)

supernaturally (usually when the disease, infirmity, or injury is beyond the healing ability of the immune system and the gift of science); often coming in the form of a spoken word, laying on of hands, intercession, a prayer cloth, a prophetic word, etc.—all mentioned and demonstrated in the Bible.

So, it was settled from the beginning of this journey: God wanted me well. He made a blood covenant to secure Salvation for the whole of me—body, spirit, and soul. What I needed was to understand the WAY of God for my situation-- how to walk through to my healing.

I sought him for answers to such practical questions as; do I take chemotherapy or go an alternative route? Which oncology clinic is the best for me and where? Which surgery team should I choose?

The answers came through my patient submission for guidance. He has not failed me in this pursuit. I could tell you many stories that confirmed my steps are divinely ordered.

Go back to the passages in James. When I asked for wisdom regarding my situation, God was not vague but very detailed. He gave me specific words (Rhemas—right now, God-breathed words) to stand on from His Word (All the Scriptures--the Logos).

He was not condescending or judging. He has generously given me everything I need to know for my situation, including the enemy’s intents and the faith of His Son to resist them.

Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians, verses 12-14:

“Now, brethren, I desire you should know, that the things which have happened to me, have fallen out rather to the furtherance of the gospel:

“So that my bands are made manifest in Christ, in all the court, and in all other places; And many of the brethren in the Lord, growing confident by my bands, are much more bold to speak the word of God without fear.”

This thing concerning me is also falling out for the furtherance of the Gospel. My story is being read around the world. Can you believe it? From my little laptop in Comanche, Texas, my website is getting visits from people in China, Malaysia, Russia, and all over the United States. Praise God!

And it is the prayer of my heart that those who read my posts, and those who pray with and for me, will grow more confident in Christ; seeking and speaking a “right now” Word of God that begins to dispel darkness and disease from their lives.

It is also my desire that they not stop with themselves; but dare to look—even before their personal prayers are answered—into the desperate eyes of a world famished for the Words of Life...then open their mouths.

“…open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.” (Psalm 81:10)

From Cakes to Caskets and Back Again

Round Seven at Chemo Depot

It happened so fast. In less than sixty days, after being declared cancer-free by the medical profession, I was staring at test results that found “rare and suspicious cells” in eight liters of fluid that had been withdrawn from my abdominal cavity. 

My first round of chemotherapy, deemed successful, finished in May of this year. However, I began to feel a few spasms and twitches in my abdominal area about a month later. A quick look on the internet revealed these discomforts were likely the chemo drugs working their way out of my system.

But as the minor aches turned into pain and my stomach began to swell, I returned to my oncologist. He immediately ordered a CT scan. Everyone, including my doctor, was shocked at the results. He said that in his years of practicing medicine, he had never seen colon cancer behave in such a manner. The only thing he could surmise is that tiny, undetectable seeds of the cancer hid in my peritoneum (the fat layer that surrounds the internal organs). The drugs did not eradicate, but only kept them in check during my treatments. The cells multiplied quickly once the chemo stopped.

Within days, the surgeon who removed my tumor was consulted. She thought it best to send us to a doctor who specialized in peritoneal cancer research.  While I’m thankful for those who invest their lives in research, George and I quickly found out that this one, in particular, was not patient-oriented. His world revolved around scans and blood reports in a lab setting—not people at the most vulnerable and emotional times of their lives.

After reviewing the scan from Abilene, he matter-of-factually announced I had six months to live--more or less--and the best they could do was provide palliative care to make me comfortable. After an awkward silence, he tried to offer a comforting word.

He pointed to the Bible I brought along to read and asked, “Judging by that, are you a Christian?”

“Yes,” I answered. “Why?”

“Well, then you have nothing to worry about,” he replied. We Christians have Heaven to look forward to…and that’s a much better place, isn’t it?” By then he was patting my hand.

I looked at George’s flushed, red face.  He was clinching the armrests on his chair. In other words, my Texan was about to explode.

 “Look,” I explained, “I was saved back in the 70’s. Since then, Heaven has been a done deal for me and honestly, I haven’t thought much about going. I’d rather stay here and get something done for God where it counts. Right here on earth. You know--like the focus in the Lord’s Prayer.”

The look on his face was odd: somewhat of a cross between a quirky frown and a quizzed look that didn’t get what I just said.

“Okay, “he said in a long drawl, “but you must know what to expect. You eventually will get a blockage in your colon and have to have a food tube installed. More fluid will gather in your abdominal cavity, but we can draw that off to help your breathing. And we will manage your pain with morphine…until, well, until it’s time.”

Again, nobody said anything. Then George rose and stomped out of the room. The researcher lowered his eyes and shifted around in his seat. It was obvious that he wanted to end the appointment as much as we did.

“I’m going to fight this thing, “I told him. My reason for being here is not finished.”

“All right, “he said. “I understand your need to do all you can. Let’s arrange an MRI around September and take another look at your peritoneum.”

“Fine, “I said. “We’ll make the appointment.”

Thank God, I got George out of the building before he assaulted anyone on staff, but the two- hour drive home seemed dreadfully long.

We finally agreed to calm down and regain our spiritual balance, which had sent us reeling from the “expert’s” blows. I knew I had to immediately cancel the words that specialist spoke over me as an earthly authority and put God’s word back in ascendancy. So often, people, even Christians, take the words of physicians as the final say regarding their health; but at best, they can only provide a diagnosis. If you’re a believer, God alone determines the number of your days—not a doctor, not a medical report.

After arriving home, I collapsed into my chair and wept under the strain of the past few days. You see, we were making plans to visit the grandchildren in Hawaii. I was starting to revise the third edition of my book, Cotton Butterflies. Cooped up in a studio apartment for seven months while taking chemotherapy, I only got out for medical appointments and light errands (when I felt strong enough). I was looking forward to traveling and feeling the embrace of life again.

Later in bed, I sense God cautioning me not to change my confession based on this new development. He warned that satan was trying to convince me to own this latest report by focusing on the so-called, new “evidence” that appeared to run contrary to the promises the Lord had given us nine months earlier.

We returned to our oncologist in Abilene the following week, still upset over our visit to Dallas. George broke down in the office-- something I’d never seen him do in public.

“How in the world,” he cried, “did we go in less than two months from ‘You’re cancer-free'  to ‘You’d better buy a casket'? Even Evil Knievel couldn’t make that kind of jump.” (His sarcasm (and pain) was at full tilt!)

We told Dr. Kalla everything the specialist had said, and his colleague’s demeanor angered him.  My doctor assured me that personally, he had not stamped an expiration date on me and stated there were still viable treatment options on the table.

He preferred putting me on another six-month, twice monthly round of chemotherapy containing three new drugs that proved successful against rapidly advancing colon cancer. George and I prayed, and felt it was wise to pursue another round treatment to clear my body of the remaining cells. I’ll admit: I dreaded walking through that long valley again. Most cancer recurrences show up many months--even years after a first round of treatment. A patient’s body has had time to recover from the stress of systematic, systemic “poisoning”.

I had less than two months before subjecting myself to the drugs again. Chemotherapy is good at locating rapidly dividing cancer cells, but it cannot distinguish between fast-growing, good cells in a person’s body, either--such as skin, hair, nails, the lining of the intestinal tract, and the bone marrow, where red and white blood cells and platelets are made. Red blood cells carry oxygen, white blood cells fight infection, and platelets help to control bleeding and bruising. Thus, the risks for anemia, fatigue, infection, bleeding, and bruising increase with bone marrow suppression.

I entered the hospital for my first treatment in order to be monitored more closely for side effects and any dangerous reactions. In a previous post, I related how the nurses on Parker 7, the oncology wing, had celebrated my clean report in May. They gave me a “graduation” send-off, complete with diploma, mortarboard, and cake.

As I was wheeled onto the floor past the nurses’ station, their jaws dropped. I explained my situation to them as they visited my room, tears in their eyes, one by one. I told them not to worry…that I was just back for my master’s degree!

The first treatment went well with only minor side effects. I could tell it was more powerful that the first set of drugs, and I knew a new set of challenges lay ahead for the next six months. Still, I was in God’s will; therefore, I could acknowledge that even along this familiar but more difficult way, I could trust Father God to direct my path:

"Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths ( Proverbs 3:5, 6).

We are communicants within the Charismatic Episcopal Church. Currently, there are no CEC missions in Texas. When we first moved out this way, we attended a small Charismatic Anglican Church in Muleshoe near the New Mexico border. We loved (and still do) Pastor Sergio Leal and his family. When I was first diagnosed with colon cancer last October, we followed the command in James to call for the elders to anoint with oil and pray the prayer of faith:

“Is any among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer of faith shall save him that is sick, and the Lord shall raise him up” ( James 5:14, 15)

Father Sergio’s s visit comforted us greatly, and we had peace after my anointing and prayer. The surgery was successful, and I followed through with my first round of chemotherapy.

Within days of the second diagnosis, we heard that our former CEC Bishop, Chuck Jones of Christ the King in Selma, Alabama, was appointed over Texas to minister to communicants living in the state and start new ministries. Chuck was our bishop in our home state of South Carolina. We grew to love this gentle giant of a man who was also one of the strongest, most accurate prophets we had ever met. (You will enjoy reading his regular prophetic insights at Aslan Roars.)

We explained everything to him over the phone, and he assured us of his love and prayers. A prayer service was scheduled at his church that night. He informed the congregation of my condition and by 9 PM, I turned over and slept on my right side without any pain…something I had not been able to do for weeks. In fact, from that night on, I have remained pain-free from cancer symptoms.

A few days later, Bishop Chuck called and said that Father Dan and Debra Whitt from the Church of the Messiah in Charlotte had already planned a trip to Texas to visit family in nearby San Angelo. In fact, they were en route and wanted to stop by and pray for us. We were elated! Dan and Debra have the gift of healings, and many people have become well through their ministry.

Once they arrived, we all knew we were standing in a divine appointment. Before even hearing our story, Debra said she had sensed that just as an uprooted tree does not show its death immediately--but continues for a season to give the appearance of life--my situation was similar. As the Lord had done previously, she cautioned me not to accept the enemy’s new, intimidating symptoms and lies.

We witnessed that her prophetic word was truly from the heart of God. The couple also encouraged George and me about future ministry opportunities, and assured us that God had plenty for us to do in the days ahead. Before leaving, they consecrated a bulk host of bread and wine for us to take Communion as often as possible.

Of all things we have been instructed to follow, nothing has touched me more than the joy of taking the Body and Blood of Jesus daily. Whether you believe the elements change literally into the Body and Blood of our Savior, or like Martin Luther,  you believe Jesus is “in, around, and through” the elements, we all agree that the Lord is present in a special way to bless those who come to His table by faith. There we receive sustaining, overcoming, sufficient grace for every need.  It is a Table spread in the presence of our enemies...a banquet of all things that pertain to life and godliness for his waiting children. (2 Peter 1: 2, 3)

A little table in our apartment is now our altar. George is an ordained deacon within the CEC; therefore, he is permitted to serve me bread and wine previously consecrated by a priest or bishop.

I encourage anyone who is sick to consider daily or weekly Communion in your worship and healing confessions. Ask a pastor or priest to stop by regularly and serve it to you. I know you will experience the Lord in a powerful way. I can literally feel a wellness in my body every time I take the Eucharist. I consider it the strongest medicine I take!

Well, September rolled around and we made another trip to Dallas for the MRI. I had to drink two large cups of a white, chalky, apple flavored concoction. It made me sick three times and I told George to forget it—I wanted to go home; but anti-emetics finally got my stomach under control. George got me under control, as well. I told the nurses that they were just plain wrong in trying to make that stuff taste like apples. “I may never eat another one after this,” I quipped. And I meant it.

A week later, we were sitting in my oncologist’s office in Abilene. Dr, Kalla came in with a smile on his face. “Your scan has improved since July,” he said. “Cancer cells can still be seen on the peritoneum, but they are not as pronounced. It has not spread to any other organs, nor do we see any blockages.”

George and I let out a sigh of relief at the same time. Next, George leaned forward and asked, “Tell me doc. Does that scan look like it belongs to someone who has just six months to live?”

Dr. Kalla chuckled. “No…not in my estimation. No, not at all!”

We went into the infusion room, praising God and sharing the encouraging news with everyone. (We patients talk to each other as if we’re family…and in a way, we do have a unique bond that can be stronger than one’s natural family. You won’t find shy introductions or standoffish behavior in a cancer clinic. Talking to fellow travelers is part of our therapy—and the conversations are as frank as they are humorous.)

I’m scheduled for two more treatments, and then we’ll have a local Ct scan. I made it clear that I never want to set foot in that Dallas clinic again. My doctor is confident that his team can clearly detect what’s going on locally just as well as the specialist can. (I’ll provide another update when the results are in.)

I can tell my body is straining now under the load of so many infusions; yet thanks be to God, my red and white blood cell counts have remained normal. My hair thinned quite a lot, but did not fall out completely. I have yet to “lose my lunch”, so to speak—one of the major problems with chemo-- although I’ve had many queasy moments. Compared to the experiences of some of my companions, I am blessed to have endured so well.

We are still planning to go to Hawaii, either at Christmas or right the holidays, depending on what Dr. Kalla suggests. (My last treatment in this series in January 2.) I’ve started the revision on my book Cotton Butterflies, and launched a podcast called “Healing for Everyday” that includes teachings insights on healing Scriptures for every day of the month. So far, I’ve completed the introduction and Episode 1. They’re available on Podomatic.

My plate is full of future books, articles, and business products that the Lord commissioned long before my diagnosis; and the last time I checked, He hasn’t erased anything from the pages of my planner.

On my list is a trip to Norway to see the Northern Lights, although George insists we can see them just as well from Alaska. (Don’t tell him, but I’m warming up to the idea of an Alaskan cruise.)  Of course, if you’re in Norway, then you have to trek on over to Switzerland, Austria, and Germany, then back to London for a tour of the Tower and fish n’ chips. Oh, and stopovers in Ireland and Scotland are a must for castle ambling!

Closer to home, I want to visit Niagara Falls, and mosey through New England in the autumn. I’ll refuse to leave until I have tapped a maple tree for its syrup. I want to stay in a beach cottage in the Maritimes during a wintry bluster, and watch a magnificent thunder snow roll in over the Great Lakes.

Nevertheless, I’d forgo the wanderlust to spend more time with my grandchildren. There’d be fanciful tales, tap shoes, and imagined adventures under the sea…talk of things that go bump in the night and shouts of “I love you” at sunrise. I’d study their faces, and teach them more about God and his ways. We’d pray, laugh, and consume lots of S’mores around a fire. Lots. We’d dress up in goofy clothes and go to parades.

Will I get to do both? I hope so. I pray hard. My vision is large, my desires numerous. I want you to know I’m not waiting to feel well enough to embrace life. I’m reaching out now as best as I can with the goal of no regrets.